Reflections

I stand in the backyard,staring, watching in silence as the soldiers across the way gently hoist Old Glory to half mast.The bugle plays, the sound of the flag cracking the silence in the cool autumn air.My four year old walks outside and holds my hand,her tiny fingers curl around mine.I listen.It's Saturday morning..and there is no noise to be heard. A hushed silence has fallen over the base.I hear no cars, no people walking their dogs,no children playing.No cadence is called this morning.It may be a Saturday, but no cadence would be called even if it was Monday.My daughter asks me in a whisper,"Mommy,why are you outside?" I looked at her,the most beautiful precious thing I have and I smile a gentle smile so she doesn't worry. "I'm reflecting." She stares at me for a moment with a quizzical expression, eyebrows cocked,lip slightly curled."Like in a mirror,where you see your face?" "Kinda" I reply.
What she doesn't realize is in a way, I am looking into a mirror.One that takes me back in time, to another early autumn morning.I see myself sitting in class. Mr.Blaine's Western Civ class.I was suppose to be taking a quiz I had missed earlier in the week.There were four of us.We had all heard on the radio about the first plane.As we sat down at the desks,pencil in hand, we heard the distinct sound of a remote control clicking the television on.I looked back, waiting for the go ahead to watch the TV in the front of the room.He nodded his head and took a seat next to us.We all watched the reporter, transfixed on what seemed to be a dream.Smoke and ash filled the screen,people calling out,crying for loved ones.We saw it.We watched in horror as in the background of the live report a plane drew closer and closer to the building.For a second we thought this must be a replay of the earlier plane.People began running,and screaming,silence and fear washed over the room.I knew then,that nothing would ever be the same again.
I turned around to see my daughter asleep peacefully on the couch,safe,unaware of the world around her,tears filled the corners of my eyes, knowing how much that day 9 years ago changed my life.You see,I haven't forgotten.My family hasn't forgotten.The world, well in a lot of ways,they have all forgotten. I load my homepage. The news.I was expecting more.Really, I was.Nothing on the front page had anything to do with the day those towers fell, nothing to do with the soldiers who fight for our freedom still to this day because of it.Tiny video blurbs grace the bottom of the page, all about "remembrance." What are you remembering? What are they remembering? One day out of the year, people walk around saying "Remember when...."and they forget to "remember NOW." Every day I wake up to the sound of a bugle playing and the colors being raised.Platoons of soldiers,run in unison,step by step, singing cadence calls.I kiss my husband goodbye as he goes to join them.While he is gone I place the patches on his uniform, and pin his aviation wings above the name tape on his jacket that says "U.S Army." No, I can't just remember when,when I live in a world that remembers now.I know how frightening it is to go through pregnancy with your first child, alone,because of training.How raising her by yourself for the first six months feels,because training for war, took him from his family.How two weeks of R and R couldn't possibly make up for the almost 17 months spent in Iraq during the surge,or the 11 months of daily fear that just passed.As a military family,you remember.It effects you every day,in every fiber of your existence.That being said,I wouldn't have it any other way.This is my life.The effects of September 11th 2001 can't really be felt on a daily basis for people who aren't apart of it still.When you wake up, you get ready for work, drive your nice car,go to lunch,go to school...whatever it is that you do, you do it, without thinking.There's a safety net.My husband, my family, is one of many who help put it there.While you sit at your desk drinking your tall Starbucks macchiato, complaining about being late because of traffic, a soldier patrols the streets of Baghdad.As you drive safely down your city street,a soldier mourns for the brother he just lost when his convoy was hit by a roadside bomb.You complain about being tired,about how your sick child kept you up all night, while a soldier watches the birth of his first born on web cam,staying up all night with the wife he loves, even though he's already been up for days.As you sit comfortably on your couch watching the latest celebrity gossip crisis that graces our society,a woman cries.Alone in an empty bed, in an empty house,praying that he comes home to her.People burn books,hold protests,and hate this country.People just don't give a shit anymore.They don't remember,as much as you may say you do.The ones who really remember,are the ones who mourn the flag draped casket.Whose tears fall endlessly, silently weeping.The sound of the 21 gun salute,a forever echo in their ears.I'm sure those left behind have all asked the question "Why?" I'm inclined to ask the same.Looking at this world. Looking at the people in it. Look at how they spit on this country and rub dirt deeper and deeper into those red white and blue threads.People have lost sight of what is really important.I am thankful for being in the suck, for knowing I could never lose sight of what it means to be an American.I live walk and breathe amongst the bravest of heros'. I remember.My family is one of many who remember.On a daily basis, we know our world could be turned upside down, yet here we are.Doing what most aren't willing to.It's a simple question you must ask yourself.Put into perspective your life, every day.If we could all ask ourselves this one thing,our world could change.So as you sit down to enjoy your morning cup of coffee, or drive our safe city streets,or hold your newborn child in your arms for the first time, ask yourself this "Have I forgotten?"